Not Your Grandma's Sewing Guide

Learn the how, where, when, and 'What the f**k?!' of sewing basic garments. This is not sewing like grandma used to do. Grab a bottle of wine and get ready to cut corners and curse your way through this beginner's guide to stitchery.You'll find the basics of using a sewing machine, insight into patterns and pattern-making, and all of the easiest odds and ends to include in your own garment creations. This guide provides concise, illustrated step-by-step instructions to help you conquer your creativity without the Xanax and crying in the corner. Time-saving tips and where to skip the fuss make this a great guide for people with a wide range of f***s to give.A few topics covered include: Tools to get your a** in gear Basic stitches, seams, and hems  Tips on purchasing fabric The lazy man's road to zippers, buttons, pleats, pockets, darts, and more Pattern examples and instructions for all basic garments (tops, shorts, dresses, etc) Pop the cork and let's go. Disclaimer: The language used in this text may not be appropriate for users under the age of 18. There is an alternative 'Clean as Heck' version available that uses fun and funny substitute curse words more suited for younger readers.  Read more